四、戒主語暗淡

       主語是句子的靈魂， 定住譯文的主語的是關(guān)鍵性一步棋。主語定偏了，整個(gè)句子將顯得松散乏力，甚至誤導(dǎo)讀者。

       如果這個(gè)問題不解決，勢(shì)必影響兩國(guó)的利益。

       Failure to settle this issue is bound to impair the relations between the two countries seriously.

       If the problem is not solved , it is sure to affect the interests between the two countries.

       在上面的兩種譯文中，顯然第一種譯文主語選得好，句子流暢。

       共同的利益把我們兩個(gè)偉大的國(guó)家連接在一起。

       What holds our two great nations together is the cement of common interests.

       此句主語部分處理得頗為干練。

       操吳戈兮披犀甲，車錯(cuò)轂兮短兵接

       we grasp huge shields, clad in Rhinoceros Hide;

       the Chariots clash, the Daggers gashing wide.

       （楊憲益譯《屈原·國(guó)殤》）

       屈原一開篇就“操吳戈兮披犀甲，車錯(cuò)轂兮短兵接”，顯然需要補(bǔ)充應(yīng)有的主語。在《國(guó)殤》詩中，后面還有“身既死兮神以靈，子魂魄兮為鬼雄”的句子，可見屈原是以“局外人”的視角來寫為國(guó)捐軀的將士的，而非把自己混為軍中一員。譯文中的主語應(yīng)改為"They"較妥。

       廚房里少了一條魚，主人發(fā)誓要一查到底，揪出偷魚的賊。

       Finding a fish in kitchen was lost, the host swore to find out the thief who stole the fish.

       盡管漢語中似乎有“廚房”“主人”兩個(gè)主語，譯者果斷地選定了"the host"作主語。打點(diǎn)清晰，增強(qiáng)了句子的內(nèi)聚力。

       夏威夷的沙灘上，椰影婆娑，海風(fēng)習(xí)習(xí)，一妙齡女郎正躺在白色的塑料椅上養(yǎng)神。

       On the Hawaiian sandy beach, the coconut palms are whirling, the congenial sea breeze is blowing, and a young lady is lying in the white plastics chair resting to restore energy.

       因?yàn)槭禽p松讀本，又是描述性的文字，使用了三個(gè)主語"the coconut palms" "the congenial sea breeze" "a young lady"仍是可取的。

       五、戒結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào)，組合生硬 “拉郎配”

       由于漢英結(jié)構(gòu)不同，表達(dá)方式迥異，“硬性翻譯”不僅讀起來別扭，而且會(huì)鬧出笑話。這就要求譯者在翻譯時(shí)靈活使用整合的技巧，將句子整合，凸顯漢語中所隱含的層次，補(bǔ)充所缺失的成分。有時(shí)將簡(jiǎn)單句譯成并列句，有時(shí)將并列句譯成主從句。

       在紀(jì)念大學(xué)畢業(yè)20周年聚會(huì)時(shí)，我忽然問起原來的班主任：“我個(gè)子又不矮，怎么把我安排在了第一排呢？”

       At the reunion party for 20 anniversary of graduation from university, I suddenly asked my former teacher in charge of our class then: "Since I am not of short stature, how did you arrange me at the first row?"

       一個(gè)高度近視的女博士去擦鞋店擦高統(tǒng)靴，禿頭老板親自蹲下來給她效勞。

       When woman doctor who suffers a severe myopic went to shoes-polishing shop for her buskins , the bald boss squatted down to serve her personally.

       黑體字部分，正是契合了英語的表達(dá)習(xí)慣。

       六、戒“愚忠”，不諳增減之道

       我們耳熟能詳?shù)臇|西外國(guó)人可能會(huì)感到一頭霧水，譯者需要增加必要的說明和補(bǔ)充或者減譯。否則，外國(guó)人會(huì)不知所云。畢竟，漢譯英最終是給外國(guó)人看的。

       例如：風(fēng)水

       fengshui——the location of a house or tomb, supposed to have an influence on the fortune of a family.

       例如：（美國(guó)對(duì)臺(tái)）“三不政策”

       Washington's "three no's" policy toward Taiwan——no support for Taiwan independence, no support for a two-China policy, and no support for Taiwan membership in international organizations on the basis of statehood.

       忽聞?dòng)腥嗽谀档ねづ祥L(zhǎng)吁短嘆。允潛步窺立，乃府中歌姬貂禪也。

       In the silence he heard moans and sighs near the Peony Pavilion. Stealing over, he discovered the singing girl, Diaochan.（羅慕士譯《三國(guó)演義·王司徒巧施連環(huán)計(jì)》）

       會(huì)當(dāng)凌絕頂，一覽眾山小。

       One day I shall climb

       Clear to the summit,

       See how small surrounding

       Mountain tops appear as they lie below me

       （新西蘭人路易·艾黎譯《杜甫·望岳》）

       I can't open my eyes to watch your jumping into the fiery pit, for I will shut my eyes at the time.

       我不會(huì)眼睜睜看著你往火坑里跳，到時(shí)候我會(huì)閉上的。

       不要嫌我黑，兩眼放光輝；不要嫌我瘦，一身好精肉。

       Do not Cold-shoulder me for my swarthy（黝黑的）face, but I have a pair of bright piercing（敏銳的）eyes;

       Do not Cold-shoulder me for my slight figure, but I'm lean and healthy.

       文中"the location of a house or tomb, supposed to have an influence on the fortune of a family." "no support for Taiwan independence, no support for a two-China policy, and no support for Taiwan membership in international organizations on the basis of statehood." "In the silence" "One day I" "for" "but"為增譯，“府中”為減譯，實(shí)并入后句。減譯手法在“七戒語句重復(fù)”中還會(huì)提及。