Everyone is in sales! While sales often ranks poorly as a profession, the truth is that to be human is to "sell." If you want proof of my point, just look at how people react on a date. We each have a brand. We seek to persuade others that we are special and important, that we should be listened to.

The idea that everyone is in sales is important because to increase your selling power is to be more effective as a person. Selling encompasses a set of skills required for most jobs and to negotiate life. For example, a teacher has to "sell" to students the importance of the subject and its relevance to them. A lawyer has to "sell" to a client regarding their expertise. A doctor has to "sell" to a patient a particular course of action.

Notwithstanding its importance, our formal education provides little direct focus on how to be successful at sales. To get advice on this issue I turned to my daughter, Remy, who until very recently was senior sales manager for YELP, one of the top social media companies in the U.S. Here is our collective view of some tips on how we all can be more successful in "selling" or persuading others on our ideas, our viewpoints, and ourselves:

1. Be yourself and believe in yourself. The first person you have to "sell" to is yourself. Many say that building trust is all important in making the sale, but this comes from being yourself. Being yourself gives you the freedom to be honest about what is on your mind, helps you ask more direct questions, and to be more confident. As a result you will find yourself being able to have a much more honest, open and real conversations with your prospect so you can uncover the real objections and then get to work overcoming them and finding a solution. 

2. Believe in what you are selling and doing. You also have to believe in what you are selling. People can sense if your heart is not in it. Credibility and persuasiveness increase with conviction.

3. Believe and you shall receive. Many under-estimate how important it is to be mentally tough in sales. Being able to cope with rejection is an important skill to master. Believing that anything can happen on any given day will bring more magic your way. It's true!

4. Control the controllable. Know that hope is not a strategy. The best sales people control the controllable and have a strategy or a game plan to execute. Make a list of everything you can 100percentfully control in your sales process and have a system to hold yourself accountable. This can take the mental stress out of your job and help you navigate what needs to be fixed. If all else fails you can at least leave at the end of the day, month, or year knowing that you gave it your all. Too much time can be spent focusing on the outcome and that takes away from the true revenue generating activities and other aspects that help you get the sale. 

5. Ask for it. There is magic in the Biblical saying, "Ask and you shall receive." It seems so simple, but it is so vital to being successful in sales. Ask for the appointment, ask for the referral, ask for the business, ask for feedback, ask for mentorship, ask for additional information. You will not get what you do not ask for; and this could not be more true in sales. The best way to make this happen is to record yourself on a pitch in order to check that you actually ask for the business or the appointment. Make this part of a daily or weekly check list and practice, practice, practice. Outside of the strict sales context, it is important to have the courage to ask for that pay increase, ask to take on that new role, etc.

6. Be nice and look for what you have in common. Research on sales and persuasion backs up the traditional wisdom that people buy from people they like. Moreover, one of the best ways to be liked is to look for and focus on what you have in common with the other person and build upon that.

7. Build credibility and use both logical and emotional appeals. There is also great wisdom in the classic advice from Aristotle, who in his Rhetoric contended that persuasion is a product of three factors. The first is ethos. People are persuaded by people who have a high degree of credibility. This credibility comes from such factors as experience, expertise and position. The second factor is logos. This means having the logic, statistics and evidence to back up your argument. The final major factor is pathos. People are also persuaded and moved to action by emotion. Thus, stories and other emotional appeals to important values will serve well in helping you sell your argument.

8. Focus on values. As guru Simon Sinek notes, people are most persuaded by what you believe – your values.  If they share your values and are inspired by them, they will buy from you. A practical example comes from Ben Feldman who notes: "Don't sell life insurance. Sell what life insurance can do."

9. Protect your integrity. Successful selling is a marathon, not a sprint.  It is important to be in sales for the long-haul. In order to do so, it is important to pay special attention to your integrity. Integrity is the foundation of self-belief. It is the rock upon which trust is built, nurtured and earned.

10. Listen attentively and challenge. We spend most of our waking hours listening. People who are effective at sales are active listeners. They ask questions, they are alert, focused and responsive. As Jeffrey Gitomersays: "The key to mastering any kind of sales is switching statements about you – how great you are, and what you do – to statements about them." Recognizinghow resistant we are to change, active listening also involves challenging the other person, making them aware of the risks they face if they do not buy from you.

11. Be charismatic. Charisma is something that can be learned. Charismatic people are warm and welcoming. They make you feel relaxed. People with charisma exhibit positive non-verbal language which enables them to form a connection with others. Their customers see them not as mere "sales people" but as people who are genuinely interested in helping others and providing a solution to a problem.

12. Be enthusiastic. As the saying goes, if you are not fired with enthusiasm you should be fired with enthusiasm. Emerson was correct when he advised, "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." Enthusiasm is contagious. It is the fire that lights the torches of those around you and persuades them to your point of view.

13. Be resilient. People with high skills in sales know how to cope with failure. No matter how good you are at sales, you will experience your share of setbacks and failures. They are not afraid to laugh at themselves and use rejection as a spur to the next success. In the words of Winston Churchill: "Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."

14. Think system and work as a team. We tend to think of sales as a solo activity. In truth there is almost always a system behind the sale (HR; payment processing; marketing, management, etc) and a support team that makes it all work.

15. Pay the price of success. Effective sales people are not wimps. They are prepared to put in the hard work, exercise the discipline, set their goals and execute the tactics in order to enhance their chances of success.

16. Focus on progress. As with most learning, becoming adept at sales and persuasion takes time to see results. If you have done a good job creating your plan, executing and tracking your results, you will be able to see if you are moving in the right direction or if you need to make a new plan. Given we only have so much we can control in sales, celebrating progress is a huge motivator to keep you going so that you can get to where you want to be. It is important to realize that learning to be better at sales/persuasion is a lifelong journey.

Eugene Clark is a columnist with China.org.cn. For more information please visit:

http://www.ccgp-fushun.com/opinion/eugeneclark.htm

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