A couple of recent articles in the UK and American press have suggested that life for foreigners in China is getting dangerous. "Being a foreigner in China today is an uneasy business", says a blog in the New York Times. But is it really? This is not a feeling I recognise. The problem with all journalism is that no newspaper or magazine is going to pay for articles saying "no problems - everything in the garden's lovely". Journalists have to root about and find problems, or they may go hungry.

Obviously everyone's experience will be different, but in mine there are no cities in the world as safe at night as China's. Maybe it's just that I'm a fairly peaceable chap, and also a rather large one. But I have spent nearly ten years in China, mostly in Beijing, and have never had aggression directed at me, except when I was besieged in the British embassy for four days after the NATO bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade. And most of us would agree that that was a unique occasion. (Let's hope so.)

It can't be denied that there is a sensitivity not far under the skin of the Chinese, for historical reasons. (I was once accused of being responsible for the burning of the Yuan Ming Yuan in 1860; but only as a joke.) People are quick to perceive assumptions of superiority among foreigners, and they don't like it. And sometimes this can erupt into outbursts of nationalistic fervour which can look ugly, but won't in fact break any bones. Everybody knows that xenophobia and sabre-rattling are not in China's best interests, however satisfying they may be in the very short term.

It isn't that foreigners are expected to kow-tow and grovel; what is required is a modicum of respect. Getting to grips with the language helps here; the Chinese know how damn difficult their language is for laowais?to learn, and recognise that anyone who has taken the trouble obviously takes China seriously. Nor do they expect you to agree with them all the time; I found that, once I had made it clear that I respected China, its people and its culture, I could say anything I liked, even about Tibet or Taiwan, without anyone taking offence.

There is one very sensitive area, which is the same all across the world; that of men-women relations. It is not at all surprising that Chinese people become furious at events like the recent sexual assault on the streets of Beijing -- no-one wants to see their womenfolk treated with disrespect. But even without this sort of disgusting behaviour, this is an uncomfortable area. Everybody knows that for every Chinese man marrying a foreign woman there are a hundred Chinese women marrying foreign men, and I can quite see how this might make Chinese people (men in particular) feel a bit threatened.

The only example of xenophobia I encountered was of this nature, and it was indirect. When I first began visiting the Chinese lady who is now my wife, she told me that the neighbours had spat at her on the staircase, and called the police to investigate her. Clearly no-one had told them that the laws about litong waiguo (having illicit relations with foreign countries) were no longer in operation.

Against this background it is doubly important for foreigners not to misbehave in this way. You must not provoke people too far, or a naturally peaceful disposition can turn sharply into violence, as the man who assaulted the woman in Beijing discovered. However, behave normally and respectfully and it is most unlikely that anything serious will happen to you. China has always been meticulous in following its international obligations, and will usually do its best to protect resident foreigners, or at least to see that justice is done, as in the case of the murdered Briton Neil Heywood.

Returning to the post-Belgrade Embassy siege; while I was sitting at my desk in the beleaguered fortress, dodging the stones flying through the broken windows, I received a phone call. It was from a new Chinese acquaintance, whom I had met the week before and had invited me to dinner. She regretted the difficulties I was undergoing, but hoped I would manage to come to dinner all the same. (Of course I did, and the atmosphere was very friendly.)

So I don't believe that anything has really changed, except for the better; now both Chinese and laowais understand that they don't come from different planets. There's no need for foreigners to walk in fear or be unnecessarily defensive; just show respect and behave yourself. And don't get on the wrong side of Ms. Gu Kailai.

The author is a retired British diplomat who spent most of his career in China and Germany. He has a column at The Telegraph.