A study of 3,884 students from primary schools to colleges found that examinations made 83.1 percent of primary students anxious, and more than 40 percent of high school children were out of sorts because of stress and anxiety.

Moreover, 75 percent of the high school respondents admitted that they had problems talking to their parents and more than 55 percent of them found it hard to associate with other people, according to the study released by the China Population Communication Center on Thursday.

It is not difficult to conclude that our children are not happy.

Today's kids are coming home from school weighed down with backpacks full of books, binders and rote worksheets. They are spending hours at a desk at night, never going outside to play and getting to bed later.

How can this be a good thing?

A primary school student in Beijing wrote a letter to the nation's legislators and their consultative members when they gathered together for their annual meeting early this month. The child said the nation's kids are unhappy.

These days homework seems to be the bane of many parents' existence. Their world revolves around making sure their children finish their worksheets and study for their tests.

Homework is eating away at children's time to play freely with neighborhood kids - and more importantly their time to sleep.

A 2002 study by the All-China Women's Federation showed that our students slept one hour less than the government-recommended amount - 10 hours for primary students, eight to nine for high school students.

Homework can enrich the education process. But like all things too much of it may dampen a student's enthusiasm for learning, and, at the end of the day, do little to improve marks.

To raise cheerful, contented and well-mannered children, parents need to put in a lot of time and effort. Their eyes should go beyond their children's preparations for tests.

There is nothing more demeaning than to talk to someone who is not paying attention to you. But this is the way many Chinese parents talk to their children. They need to learn to get on an eye-to-eye level and listen to what their child is saying.

Children seek approval, love and security from other people to try and confirm their worthiness and value.

Again some parents are seeking the worthiness and love they crave by trying to control their children.

Children need a break too. So, let them be in control of parts of the day.