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Pang Xiaoyan and her Ugandan husband Senyonyi John Mbaziira. [file photo from China Daily] |
Pang Xiaoyan met her Ugandan husband when he visited her office for a routine business meeting. That was the first time she had ever set eyes on a black man. The only thing she could think of asking him was: "Are you a Christian?"
As luck would have it, Senyonyi John Mbaziira was in fact a Christian, and they exchanged phone numbers after he promised to recommend a place where she could pray.
He dialed her number just two hours later and invited her for a drink at Sanlitun and she accepted. The first black man she met became her first boyfriend, and she married him. She was 22. "It was our first date. There were no candles, no flowers, no champagne," says Pang. "Everything was simple but we became boyfriend and girlfriend soon afterwards."
The happily married couple has been together now for six years and live in a spacious apartment in the Wangjing district of Beijing. They operate a retail shop selling African costumes and crafts while performing in a 12-member band that plays traditional African music across the city.
Most inter-cultural relationships have its share of challenges and it's no different for the soft-spoken man and his extroverted wife.
"In Africa, man is king in the family. Women are supposed to do all the chores and take care of the husband," he says, half-jokingly. "But Chinese ladies are too powerful. Sometimes, it can be a big headache."
Food is another major issue because he doesn't handle Chinese food well and she is vegetarian and cannot eat the meat-heavy Ugandan diet. "I'm not into Chinese food but she has learned to cook Ugandan food," he says. "She has helped me a lot and made my life easier in every respect."
The most tense moment in their relationship came when gaining approval from Pang's family in Guangxi in 2003.
Like most Chinese parents, Pang's too had always pushed her to find a boyfriend and she told them she had found one. But that's all she said.
The next thing she knew, her parents and eldest aunt hopped on the train to Beijing to meet her boyfriend. "He was nervous," Pang says of John. "We got up at four and he put on a suit and tie."
And she can still picture her father's silent reaction that resonated like a loud explosion. He refused to greet her boyfriend, even after they went home.
Over the next few hours and days, she lobbied her mother who was easier to convince.
"I convinced my mum and auntie later the day, but my dad still couldn't calm down," she says.
Despite her father's decision, the couple's dedication to each other never faltered.
Pang took John to her hometown during the 2005 Spring Festival. Her father said they were not welcome at his home and suggested they stay in a hotel. But she had the support of her aunt and mother and arrived with her African boyfriend to put to her father her best argument.
"Do you want me to find someone you like or someone I love?" she asked.
Her father understood she was happy and suddenly called up his relatives to organize a dinner to celebrate his daughter's engagement.
"It's not easy to find someone you really like and I finally made it. It has been a hard battle, but I won in the end," she says.
After that holiday, they continued on to Uganda and she met his family and relatives.
And ever since, theirs has been a "living happily ever after" story.
(China Daily June 29, 2009)
