Contrary to popular belief, life is not all fun and games for young single men in Shanghai. The demands of work mean they often find it just as difficult as the opposite sex to meet the other half.
Bruce Zhu loves meeting girls - anytime, anywhere, any how. Single and not bad looking, by his own admission Zhu is looking "not only for a relationship, but also for new friends."
Zhu, a late-20s IT worker, might be described as a typical Shanghai "playboy," although that's not meant to sound disparaging, says local matchmaking expert Rosy Huang.
Huang says the city has lots of single men like Zhu who have many female friends. They are always on the lookout for "new friends" but still consider it difficult to find a "girlfriend."
While highly educated, good-looking 30-something women who are still single tend to come in for the greatest amount of scrutiny in society, single men in the same situation tend to get off lightly. It is generally assumed it will be fairly easy for them to find a partner as "there are so many single women" in the city.
But are young single men really as unconcerned about finding a girlfriend or wife as many of them might appear?
"I have seen many single men and there are thousands of males registered on matchmaking Websites," says Huang. "Society doesn't focus on them as much as females possibly because men don't have to worry about age as much as women who have to take it into consideration if they want a baby.
"Also, traditional values still show family and marriage to be the most important part in a woman's life, while for man, work usually leads," she says. "But that doesn't mean there are no desperate single men out there. In fact, there are lots of them and it depends on how you define single."
The speed dating event run by Australian company Fast Impressions which proved a big success with more than 150 single men attending. (photo: Shanghai Daily)
The 2005 Shanghai Population Sampling Survey showed 50.22 percent of the city's residents were male. No specific data was available on the percentage of single men and women.
Last month, 150 single men, mostly from the IT industry, attended Australian speed dating company Fast Impressions' very first event in Shanghai. Even organizers did not expect so many single men to attend.
The general belief is that an average-looking guy will have no problem finding a girl in Shanghai, so long as he has a fairly stable and high-paid job - above 5,000 yuan per month (US$725) - and the ability to buy a house and a car.
It sounds simple, but not so easy to achieve for the average guy. Only those born into rich families could satisfy the criteria without effort. The rest have to work very hard to get themselves into a sound financial position leaving them very little time to date.
Sam Lu and Jason Li, also mid-20s IT workers, say time is definitely a major problem.
"With everyone busy trying to make a living, there just isn't time to go out and meet girls," says Lu.
That is why they are attracted to the idea of speed dating where men can meet many different girls in a short period of time. It is an amazing resource for those finding themselves bogged down by work and other responsibilities.
As "playboy" Zhu discovered. At the Fast Impressions event he wasted no time in dashing around to meet as many girls as possible in the time allotted. And afterwards it was revealed he had the most "yes" responses from the 10 girls he met.
Fast Impressions' speed dating events create a controlled environment with a 1:1 gender ratio. Participants are in the same age range and are screened to ensure they share some common interests enabling every guy to hopefully be able to strike up a conversation with a girl.
A typical event usually starts with some warm-up games to break the ice and allow participants to become a bit more familiar with each other. Then each participant is given a few minutes to chat with everyone from the opposite gender.
They are provided with a card featuring questions such as "what are your favorite sports?" or "what movies have you seen recently?" It also includes a list of participants to tick "yes" (interested for further development) or "no" (not interested). Following the event matched persons are given each other's contact details.
Whether he is just simply looking for new friends or trying to get into a serious relationship, speed dating is an emerging avenue for many single young men in Shanghai.
"I would certainly like to go to more events," as Zhu says.
With all those "yes" ticks, why wouldn't he?
(Shanghai Daily June 20, 2008)