What is so good about an idol? Today people choose idols for no good reason. It might be because of their good voice, "coolness", or sometimes merely a cute face or a good figure. I don't want to have any idols. Instead, I think it is enough for me to have someone who has influenced my life the most and helped me to improve.

He was the youngest child of his family. At that time in China, people were encouraged to bear many children and with each child came rewards from the government. It was always lucky to be the last child.

For him, he had four elder sisters and brothers and two parents taking care of every bit of his life. He ate the best food at every meal, wore new clothes and everyone gave him what he wanted. His brothers were often quite jealous of him.

Yet, now, the youngest child, my uncle, has grown up into a 40-year-old man who cannot find the word "respect" in his dictionary. In the family, he learnt to take everything for granted and thought everybody was destined to think of him first. All the above lead his life to an abyss without money, without light and eventually, without love.

His troubles are too many to count and tell. He has divorced twice, and is now in his third unhappy marriage based on the wife's money and the husband's house. He has been hired by many companies but fired or quit for so-called unreasonable demands. He has put a knife on the desk of my grandfather, telling him to give him an apartment as a present. He has abused and hit his wives.

But from his life he has learnt nothing; still he stays at home everyday eating whatever his wife feeds him and buying whatever he wants, regardless of the price.

How come I have picked him to learn from? Well, I found out that reflection might be hard, but learning from others' faults is easier. Most of us, born in the 80s' are carefree and the focus of our parents' love. I have always seen how proud a parent can be if their only child does something which would be valued as a trifle decades ago.

So, think about it, even if us one-child policy productions are much better than the youngest child of a family, we are still in danger of being self-centered.

We see ourselves as very special and don't consider others. We set a lot of goals and tell our friends about them. Later on we forget our goals and never put them into practice. Who cares? Our friends forget as easily for they do the same thing. Now we have neither respect nor faith!

I am also facing the same trouble. Whenever I feel I am going to be the same as others, my uncle's image immediately comes to mind: a lazy man with his face distorted, legs crossed, smoking a mouthful of cigarettes, while beating his wife as he spits everywhere. Whenever I lose my concentration on my goals, I always remind myself of him and say: "Don't ever grow into a man like him!" That works very well. I really treasure this "idol".

The author, Guan Bowei, is a student at the No 8 high school, Beijing.

(21stcentury December 31, 2004)