For Shi Yanxia, 25, memories begin when she was 3 years old.
As a result of infantile paralysis, she could not walk very well and often fell down, but she was anxious to go outside and play with her friends.
"I was lucky," she recalled.
Her parents carried her outside her home to join the other children.
At her mother's suggestion, Shi often listened to radio operas and then retold these stories, so she became popular with other village children.
"Spending more time together with normal children made them understand more about my disability," Shi said.
According to her experience, the healthy development of disabled children is largely determined by the attitude of their families.
"If the parents give their disabled child the cold shoulder, can you expect them to trust the outside world or have confidence in themselves?" she said.
In fact, until high school, she had a happy and smooth life. From childhood, Shi loved singing and dreamed of becoming a music teacher.
However, one day, her music teacher told her that she would have no chance of applying for art university according to the education regulations simply because she was disabled.
"The words thundered through my ears. It was the first serious setback in my life," she said.
In order to go to university, she decided to give up her music and apply for a broadcasting major. It was a bitter decision. After that, she often went to listen to the music class outside the door and cried.
She encountered many more setbacks.
After the university entrance examination, Shi had a happy summer holiday, because she had a high score and was quite confident that she would be admitted. Her fellow villagers learnt of her achievement and congratulated her.
However, as term approached, she had still not received her admission notice. She called the admission office of the university many times, but still did not get a satisfactory explanation. The staff simply repeated that she should wait patiently for a notice. But she never got a reply.
She began to suffer from depression.
"I started to doubt everything. I woke up from the dream that nobody would accept me simply because I was disabled. I took the university entrance examination to prove myself, but I failed," said Shi.
In her hardest time, Shi got encouragement again from her mother, who comforted her with the thought that people who did not go to university could also be talented.
In her heart, it would be a lifetime disappointment if she did not go to university. So she chose to teach herself for a university degree. After four years' study, she finally got a bachelor degree in English.
Shi wanted to be an English teacher. She applied for the post in several middle schools, but schools declined her application, citing her physical difficulties.
"Those days I felt a bit numb about setbacks because they were already so common. My self-confidence dropped to its lowest point, and I even doubted my singing," she said.
After staying at home for half a year, Shi learnt that Save the Children was recruiting local volunteers. She took part in the interviews and was enrolled.
"I had never thought that I would do such a job. But when I engaged myself totally in the job, I fell in love with it. Naturally, I am concerned about the disabled children we help everyday," she said.
(China Daily February 28, 2006)
