"Flowers bloom on the roadside just as they did 11 years ago, but my mother will never come back," says She Xianglin, struggling to come to terms with spending more than a decade in prison for a non-existent crime.

Two days ago he was officially pronounced innocent of murdering his wife, a "crime" for which he had already served 11 years of a 15 year sentence.

The first thing the 39-year-old did on being set free was to visit his mother's grave.

"I had vowed in my heart that I would not go to see her until I had wiped out the 11-year injustice," he says.

She's mother died in 1996, three months after she had been jailed for nine months for continuously appealing her son's conviction.

She Xianglin, imprisoned since 1994, was unable to see his mother when she died, and was only told of her death two years later.

"At the moment, joy is tampered with sorrow in my heart," he says.

She's wife Zhang Zaiyu disappeared in 1994. A female body was found three months later and Zhang's relatives said it was Zhang.

Charged with murdering his wife, She was arrested the same year and sentenced to 15 years' imprisonment.

The Jingshan County People's Court officially cleared She on Wednesday and he was immediately set free.

After visiting his mother's grave, She went to his elder brother's home at the Yanmenkou Township, Jingshan County, Central China's Hubei Province.

"I can now hold my head high. I can live a normal life now like others.

"During the past years, my family were spat on and reviled because I was a 'murderer'," She says.

"But now I get understanding and sympathy, which I have not experienced for years."

When recalling life in prison, She says that thinking about his mother and daughter helped keep him strong.

But his 18-year-old daughter was forced to leave education years ago because of poverty and, She believes, prejudice against her because of her father's supposed crime.

The girl's school refused her tuition because "her father was a murderer," says She.

"When I receive State compensation, I want to pay for my daughter to go back to school."

She's lawyer Zhang Chengmao has said that they will appeal for State compensation around April 23.

As for the future, She says he has not yet decided what path his life will follow. Even if She's wife had not reappeared, his prison term was due to end this year because of time off for good behaviour.

"Sometimes I just felt numb, I thought that maybe to forget everything was the best choice.

"But I always believed that Zhang was still alive," says She.

She did not want to explain why his wife chose to leave home 11 years ago, but some reports have suggested he was having an affair with another woman.

(China Daily April 15, 2005)