Can a parent's role be substituted? A website says "Yes".
The website, 52marry.cn based in Shanghai, is offering
substitute parents for children from divorced or widowed
families.
"According to our psychological experts, substitute parents can
interact with these children," said Gan Qiming, founder of the
website.
Gan said he is hoping substitutes can fill the void caused by
the absence of a parent, and provide a healthier environment for
children to grow up.
"Kids who grow up in single-parent families normally have
problems building a sound character," he said.
But experts doubt this. It could only add to the problem.
Gan said the idea is based on a friend's experience.
Liu Li, the friend, had a daughter with a German man, who left
her soon after she got pregnant. Liu tries to give as much love as
she can to the daughter Nani, but still finds her behavior
unruly.
"She is also becoming more and more dependent on my father and
unconsciously considers him her father," Liu told Gan.
"I think she needs a man of her father's age instead of a
grandfather to help her grow up because the latter tends to dote on
her."
Gan started his service last October by introducing a substitute
father Ying Ming to the family. Ying is divorced with a daughter
and volunteered to be Nani's substitute father.
Ying saw obvious enmity in Nani's eyes when they first met. He
tried to take part in activities with her.
"I thought she had opened her heart to me, but she told her
mother I was very pretentious," he said. "I understand it will take
time for her to welcome me into the family."
A survey, conducted by the company among 100 single-parent
families, showed 80 percent of single fathers and 56 percent single
mothers felt a substitute parent might help their children.
Yi Ruijing, a lawyer, said the idea of substitute parents could
cause problems.
Shu Xin, a psychologist, said substitute parents cannot break
the psychological barrier with children.
(China Daily May 15, 2007)