The number of marriages between Chinese people and foreigners is
on the increase, but so too is the rate at which they are getting
divorced.
According to recent statistics from the Shanghai Civil Affairs
Bureau, the number of intercultural marriages is rising
steadily.
In 2006, 2,960 marriages involving Chinese nationals and
foreigners were registered in Shanghai, up 22.97 percent on the
previous year. However, the number of mixed couples getting
divorced in 2006 also increased to 355.
The figures showed that marriages had taken place between
Chinese people and foreigners from 55 nations and regions.
Chinese-Japanese and Chinese-Canadian pairings were found to be the
most likely to end in divorce.
Although divorce has traditionally been discouraged in China,
its incidence has risen rapidly since the 1980s. And with more and
more mixed marriages ending in divorce, there is now a growing need
for help and advice for those dealing with life after a failed
marriage.
A web-based survey conducted by the Weiqing Divorcees Club found
that many of its members had been in unhappy cross-cultural
marriages.
"Loneliness, cultural differences and adapting to a new
lifestyle were quoted as the main reasons for not being happy," the
club's Shu Xin said.
The club provides a range of services, such as helping with the
divorce process and advising on the process of getting remarried.
On a more positive note, it also gives lectures on how to make a
success of cross-cultural marriages.
The Shanghai-based club claims to have about 1 million online
members, most of whom come from major cities like Beijing and
Shanghai. Almost 10 percent of its members are classed as
foreigners, which encompasses expatriates, American-Chinese and
those from Hong Kong, Taiwan and Macao.
In response to the growing number of cross-cultural divorces,
the Weiqing Divorcees Club recently teamed up with Europe's largest
marriage and divorce consultancy, Added Life Value Ltd.
The firm, which has offices in Paris, France and Dsseldorf,
Germany, claims to be in the business of "new beginnings",
according to its German TV commercials.
Christopher Pruefer from Added Life Value told China
Daily: "People really need help and good advice."
Help can also be found at places like the Shanghai Community
Center, where experts provide family therapy and advice on
extramarital affairs.
Annemieke Esmeijer, a psychologist and family therapist with the
center, said that cross-cultural marriages fail for many reasons,
including language difficulties, cultural changes, work pressures,
a loss of identity for the spouse moving abroad and a lack of
support systems from home.
Esmeijer said that it was crucial for couples from different
cultures to get to know each other personally, socially, and
culturally. They should also discuss key cultural differences
regarding such things as attitudes toward the extended family,
religion and values, how to spend money, raising children, and even
what sort of food they will eat.
(China Daily March 23, 2007)