Marriage has no borders

0 CommentsPrint E-mail China Daily, November 25, 2010
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Vietnamese brides of Chinese men find it difficult to adapt to life in their new surroundings, but appear keen to make the most of the situation.

 

A Rui has got used to life without friends, or even talking to her husband. The newly married Vietnamese bride, handicapped by her poor Chinese, admits she has found it difficult to adapt to life in Beijing, though she says she is quite content. She has put on a bit of weight, to add to her previous 37 kg, thanks to the comparatively comfortable life she has here as a housewife.

"It's freezing in winter and I feel lonely sometimes," the 35-year-old says in broken Mandarin. "But life is better and my husband is kind."

Her husband, surnamed Cui, found her four months ago on a blind speed date in Vietnam.

"I just feel I'm too old for her, it seems a little bit unfair," says Cui, 59, whose first marriage ended 11 years ago in divorce.

After domestic marriage agencies failed to find a partner for him, Cui looked for love across the country's southern border.

In May, Cui sold his 4.3-hectare nursery in Shangzhuang village, Haidian district, Beijing, for 9.7 million yuan ($1.46 million). He is now applying for investment emigration to Canada, along with A Rui and his 14-year-old son. Unfortunately, his son does not get on with A Rui and rejects the meals she prepares.

In A Rui's hometown, a small county in northern Vietnam, she was considered an old maid before she got married.

With just 11 years of education, she earned 500 yuan ($75.30) a month, making handicrafts for local retailers.

She says she used to be afraid of marriage because of her friends' and sister's stories of failure.

She decided to try her luck in China after the local matchmaker, A Zhen, or "adopted mother", convinced her a Chinese husband would be caring and trustworthy.

After marrying, her brother joined her in Beijing and stayed for more than a month to make sure the marriage was genuine and Cui was a good man who would treat his sister well.

This is the first time A Rui had traveled abroad and says the capital city's skyscrapers and crowds initially overawed her.

She has a daily routine that begins with buying food from the market. Cleaning takes up much of the rest of the day.

She likes to stroll on the streets or in parks with her husband, now that she has bought some warm clothes.

Before her departure from Vietnam, Cui bought some small dictionaries to help her communicate. But they are not as helpful as he hoped because her vocabulary is so limited.

"Sometimes, she is in a bad mood but she can't say why, so I've no idea what's going on in her mind," Cui says.

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