The secret of happiness should be like this: expecting it if it
is still afar; enjoying it if it is all around you; and retaining
it if it has gone. -Lu Qin
Lu Qin is the associate editor-in-chief of Chinese Teenagers
News and is better known as nationwide "Zhi Xin Jie Jie"
(literally "your intimate sister who can have a heart-to-heart talk
with you").
Born in Beijing in 1948, Lu Qin became a columnist of "Zhi Xin
Jie Jie" with Chinese Teenagers News since 1980s. She
initiated the Zhi Xin Jie Jie magazine and became the
editor-in-chief at the age of 52.
She is regarded as a senior expert on education of children and
teens. As an invited speaker of several TV programs and academic
seminars, she makes efforts in promoting harmonious education which
best explained in her best-seller books such as Telling the
Child That 'You Are Great', Telling the World That 'I Know I
Can', Good Parents and Good Kids.
In a recent interview, Lu Qin shared her views on childhood and
education for children and teens ahead of International Children's
Day.
Question: in your book Good Parents, Good Kids you mentioned
that "it will be a misfortune if one leads a life without a happy
childhood". How about your childhood? Was it happy?
Lu Qin: Absolutely right! It was very happy and sweet.
I am the fifth child of my parents; I have three sisters and two
brothers. It is a blessing to have such a big and harmonious
family. The most precious gift I get from my family is to share
with others; we learn how to love and take care of others. It has
rooted in our life. In addition, my mother is a democratic person
who has neither overestimated nor overindulged us. In other words,
my family gave me a happy and sweet childhood although we led a
simple life at that time.
Besides, the life in primary school played an important role in
my childhood. I've spent six years in Shi Jia Hu Tong Primary
School (now changed into Shi Jia Primary School) and enjoyed the
life there. We were encouraged to attend various kinds of
activities that could help to develop ourselves in a comprehensive
way.
I was good at painting so I was in charge of editing, painting
and writing the blackboard newspaper in my class. My capabilities
of coordination and organization have been well developed during
various kinds of social activities. I was given full trust and
supported by my teachers and classmates. Thus, my sense of
achievement and self-confidence has been gradually cultivated and
nurtured.
To a great extent, childhood is really important. A happy
childhood is extremely crucial to one's life. The happiness of the
childhood has nothing to do with how much money you have. Rather,
it derives from a position where your interest and capabilities are
allowed to develop.
There is a controversial problem related to education of young
children in China. Most kids, reluctantly or not, have to join
"hobby classes", they range from singing, dancing, drama, to
English, and mathematic studying, over the weekends. It seems as if
kids nowadays are bearing more pressures than before; a happy
childhood seems a "mission impossible". What's your comment on this
phenomenon?
Everything has a "balance" inside. Joining "hobby classes" has
been overdone; and overdone means "burden".
Kids nowadays are dead tired, and sometimes exhausted, compare
to my childhood. Their schedules are always fully arranged like
this: go to school from Monday to Friday and spend four half days
on hobby classes over the weekends.
To be honest, the origin of those classes was good; it helped to
develop kids' interest and talent in different areas. But what
turns out to be terrible is that only the "utilitarianism" will be
left if kids join those so-called "hobby classes" without any
hobby.
Honored as "Zhi Xin Jie Jie" nationwide since 1980s, you are
considered as a senior expert on education. In your opinion, how is
the psychological status quo of younger generation in
China?
Not so good as far as I know.
The younger generation was born after 1980s; they have no
brothers or sisters because of the "one-child" policy. They led a
better life compared to their parent's generation. They have
problems with studying, making friends, and applying for jobs. At
the same time, they have to deal with multiple pressures from
family, school, and society. It is really a big challenge to them
all.
But what is gratifying is that the "post-80s generation" seems
promising after they reach working age. They're ambitious,
energetic and flexible. But they are too sensitive and sometimes
are too easy to get frustrated.
I've met with several students who are tired of studying and
learning. The main reason is that they cannot adjust themselves to
a new situation so they totally give up. It is worthy of note to
such kind of phenomenon.
You have mentioned "five losses" of the younger generation in
China--the loss of a happy childhood, the loss of study motivation,
the loss of spiritual culture, the loss of communication between
family members, and the loss of a sense of achievement. How can we
get those "losses" back as much as possible?
Participating in social activities is a good way, because the
sense of achievement comes from what you have done by yourself.
By the same token, children and teens are encouraged to retain
close links with the nature and engage in volunteer programs as
much as possible. It will help them to broaden their views, and
gradually understand what it means to be a human being. I’m sure
that they will be benefit from what they learn beyond
textbooks.
Being a human being is more meaningful than success; growing up
is more meaningful than exam scores; giving is more meaningful than
getting. Keep these tips in mind, our children will be grow up in a
psychologically healthy way.
What are the main problems those children in urban and rural
areas facing?
Children from different areas have their own happiness and
vexation.
Children in urban areas have more opportunities. They have a
better life in terms of both material and spiritual. They have a
broader view on what the world looks like. However, they are
bearing more pressures. The competition gets fiercer in cities.
Their lives are boring; they move back and forth between home and
school. They seldom go hiking. They are judged by exam scores and
which school they are in. They feel less happy and lack of the
sense of achievement.
Children in rural areas, especially those in remote areas, have
less extracurricular reading materials although their studying
condition is gradually improving. Their spiritual life is somehow
hollow. They have a narrower view on the outside world. They do
nothing but study. Thus, it might lead to psychological
shortcomings or, as they say, an inferiority complex. They may look
down upon themselves when they come to big cities for the first
time. What is sad is they lose their self-identity and forget their
unique advantage--retain a closer link with the nature. Hence,
children in rural areas need more self-confidence. They should
believe that they are second to none; they can enjoy a fresh air,
beautiful scenery; their capability for survival is far better.
Aims to develop abovementioned advantages of children in rural
areas, we plan to promote "mini breeding" program. My colleagues
and I have been to Sichuan Province recently. What impressed us
most was the "diary of life observing" that written by local
children. They wrote down how to select and sow seeds, and their
expectation of the planet's future; they noted how to select and
feed rabbits, and their prescription for the sick one. They enjoyed
such programs and learnt how to build up self-confidence and a
sense of achievement.
In the case of migrant workers' children, they lack of a sense
of security and self-confidence when they come to urban areas with
their parents from a small backward area. They consider themselves
as an "outsider". However, they are diligent, and know how to
treasure what they get. They need special love and care, and some
basic psychological readjustment and guidance in order to cultivate
self-confidence and self-control.
As the number of wealthy families increases, becoming "an
overseas student under the age of 18" seems a rising "trend" in
China. Do you think it is good for children and teens?
To be honest, I strongly oppose this "trend".
The outside world is fascinating; the management of overseas
schools is more flexible than domestic schools. But most students
under the age of 18 lack self-control. It will be dangerous if they
indulge themselves without any supervision.
Parents should think carefully and clearly before they make the
decision to send their child abroad. In my opinion, it will be
reasonable if you have money and your child is mature and
independent enough--or after they get a Bachelor's degree, to study
abroad.
(Beijing Review June 1, 2007)
